Posted by Milan Kundera’s classic 1984 novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being is not a “happy” book, but it can certainly be described as a book about “lightness”. The lightness of betrayal.
Are “lightness”, “happiness” and “betrayal” compatible concepts? Of course.
The essence of the book is that we are here to live, and shouldn’t be restricted, whether that is by the State, or by colleagues, friends, family or lovers.
Breaking free (otherwise known as “betrayal” by those left behind, including authorities and the state police, just as much as family, friends, colleagues and lovers) is about becoming “lighter”, freed of the weight of carrying others, or of being dragged down by restriction.
The book discusses “freedom” as a concept, and how freedom interacts with control, happiness, love, marriage and so on.
The historical backdrop to the book is the invasion of Czechoslovakia in 1968 by Soviet tanks (it was already under Soviet rule, but at a distance). As with other books about living under Soviet rule, even after the death of Stalin, there was a hopelessness pervading the citizens of the occupied country, even if a person wasn’t directly persecuted.
The all-pervasive control, both physical and through the mind; the setting of individual against individual; these actions penetrated right to the soul, to the point where even continued existence was questioned. It was no way to live, but people found ways (it seems) to be happy still.
We have been taught, spiritually, that there is a purpose or reason our souls downloaded into our bodies, but a more practical and realistic viewpoint is that life has no goal.
It is just to live, experience, learn, observe. We are just here passing through this world, as a ‘pilgrim’ or ‘outsider’ travelling through as an observer, but never becoming part of the masses, the collective (who desire that everyone thinks the same, imposing ludicrous rules to enforce ‘sameness’).
Perhaps certain souls simply lost their way and found themselves in this strange world of physicality, perhaps tricked to take the wrong path from which they now need to find the exit door.
We are not here to save anyone, or the world. Our only purpose is exit from the wrong turn we made. Along the way to the exit door, we all have our own journey to make in our own time and manner, making errors and choices along the way. Helping others (or in most cases imposing on others) may even adversely change their designated life path. Parents are particularly good at that.
Towards the end of Kundera’s novel, the main character is told he ‘had a mission’ (as a surgeon) by his always-jealous lover, and the hero said:
“Missions are stupid, Tereza. I have have no mission. No one has. And it’s a terrific relief to realise that you are free, free of all missions”.
We don’t “owe” anyone anything. We often hear nurses recounting stories of dying people with lists of regrets: “why didn’t I do that” or “why did I do this”. None of this matters. We are passing through, so freeing ourselves from pointless regrets is important. We can’t remember what we did in this life after we die anyway.
Attachments and cords holding us to this world at the point of death and transition out of physicality are sure to affect our ‘escape velocity’.
Think of it this way: “betrayal” may be the best thing you did.
Removing all ‘weight’ before death is time “well spent”.
4 August 2024
[Book review: Milan Kundera – “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”]
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